As If
by Mirra Mirra
Summary: Van noticed that Hitomi had a habit of either being the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, or being the exact right person in the right place at a freakishly perfect moment.


Author's Gibberish: That's right, another one! I wrote this little guy before "Rewind, Repeat." I'm sorry if there are errors, but please feel free to point them out; Kinyo has been over worked as of late.

Yes, it does really say Romance/Angst for the categories. I've decided to give it a try, seeing as most, if not all of my fanfics so far have been Romance/Humor. Don't worry, comedy is still my favorite genre, and there won't be too many like this. But I did want to give the ending of the series a realistic follow-up at least once.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing. Get that? Nothing. I'm legally incapable of owning anything. In truth, my _parents _own _me_.

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She was strange: alien in nature but familiar in form.

Hitomi Kanzaki made the young king feel out of sorts in a whole new way, and he didn't appreciate the favor. So, Van did what he normally did when it came to things that made him uncomfortable; he pretended not to care in the slightest form of the word.

But, somehow, he found himself watching her as they sat in the cart headed towards the Fanelian capital. She had long lost hope in starting a conversation, and had turned to watch the scenery; and all he could think of was, _'Hey, look over here.'_

_As if Van wanted the attention of some Mystic Moon girl._

She was one of the few things that remained after the attack of Zaibach, and Van almost wanted to blame her for it. Merle, Hitomi, Escaflowne and himself remained with the cloths on their back, and his sword with the almost useless emblem of royalty on the hilt.

They exchanged stories late at night, she about her family and he about his lack of one. Something in the conversation had divided Van into two separate parties again: one half wanted to return her home, like a lost puppy. The other hated her for not being completely heartbroken over the possibility of losing something he was never lucky enough to have.

And the fact that she was so close to the people she described, yet so ignorant of her attachment seemed fitting. Her view was the complete opposite of his own; Van wasn't close to his own long dead family, and he was completely aware of the grief he held because of it.

But they had already gone through so much already that it was hard to feel much more than an overbearing sense of sadness. And, as Hitomi seemed to morn with and for both he and Merle, Van found that he had become attached.

And when she had been asleep, calling out the knight's name in distress, the young king couldn't help a frown of distaste from coming to his face.

'_No.'_ He wanted to say, _'You're looking at the wrong person, he can't do anything for you now. Look over here.'_

_As if Van would ever want to be the friend of some Mystic Moon girl._

Allen was kissing Hitomi, and she was reacting to him in a way that made Van's stomach feel ill. But he had no right to speak up or disturb them as they formed the perfect picture of two lovers meeting in the rain.

It made Van want to retch.

He had saved her just as many times, hadn't he? He'd been there for her, had protected her and made sacrifices. Van had been the one to bring Hitomi back to life, hadn't he? It hadn't been a dream; his stubborn presses against the soft area bellow the ribs. Van had continued longer than even Millerna would have, his arms growing tired from the ever forceful presses as the others lost hope.

But Allen did everything in such a way that the smallest of his actions over shadowed the greatest of Van's. The man couldn't sneeze and not receive attention for it by any surrounding women, girl, and even in some cases, other men.

So, Hitomi had naturally gravitated to the blonde haired knight. Van knew if she knew that he had seen, she would feel incredibly guilty, and want to apologize. And, as Van watched the two in shock of the grim slap of reality, all that could come to mind was, _'Look over here.'_

And she did, so Van ran.

_As if some Mystic Moon girl would ever want him._

She had saved his life on quite a few occasions, and had probably shortened it a great many times more.

Van noticed that Hitomi had a habit of either being the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time, or being the exact right person in the right place at a freakishly perfect moment. And the young king found himself in a seesaw act of saving and being saved.

They balanced each other out, Van thought. She made up for his rash decisions with tact and patience, and he made up for her romanticism and naiveté with realism and stubbornness. But Van knew this to only be his way of attachment to her. His mind was trying to connect them in some way that would never exist as she hung on Allen's arm.

Hitomi and Allen looked right together. Both were beautiful romantics that held others above themselves. The two held their haunted hearts away from any prying eyes as they covered up things that they didn't want known, though the knight's were far deeper wounds than Hitomi had ever received.

Her naiveté and innocence made up for Allen's apparent lack of both. He had fathered an illegitimate child, while she had fought for her first kiss. They made a better balance than Van could ever hope to rival.

And it was obvious to Van; Hitomi had reached out to him for help with boarding the new dragon form of Escaflowne, and Allen had scooped the girl up in retaliation. She had looked so well protected and loved by the knight that Van feared growling at the image. _'No, that isn't right! He isn't right! Look over here.'_

_As if he would ever deserve Hitomi. _

They were happy, after the end of the war. For the few days Hitomi stayed in the slowly rebuilding capital, Van couldn't remember one uncomfortable moment. She had become apart of the world around him, someone that he knew would be there for as long as physically possible.

Van found himself feeling truly happy for the first time since he was three, and Hitomi seemed so permanently happy to stay by his side. So he knew she had to go home. He would mess up somehow, with her heart in his hands. It would break, tear or at least be scuffed by his love-drunk fingers.

The young king didn't want to risk the one true thing he knew as home. There were too many risks, too many hazards that threatened their future if Hitomi stayed. And Van found himself in front of the now dormant Escaflowne, holding the pinkish stone to the sky with Hitomi's arms hugged around his hips.

She left with pretty words, tears and her hand reached out in a way that made whatever was left of his heart turn grey and rocky. He knew it would heal eventually, the pain becoming just barely tolerable enough for him to move on. But the picture would always remain.

It was the one moment he would never have to say, _'Look over here. Look at me.' _Because Hitomi was, the entire time she was lifted away by that last beam of cursedly pure light.

_As if they would ever have their 'Happily-Ever-After.'_


End file.
